Wednesday, 8 August 2012

With the twist of my wrist..

Everyone is glued to the fucking TV's..


That finished a couple hours ago..

Not till later tonight..


Worlds Wildest Police Videos..

I used to watch this show in the town.

In here it's an altogether different experience..

The whole audience in here, well the majority of them at least,
are career criminals who are well versed in car chases,
shootouts and robberies.

Despite currently being locked up,
these people HAVE managed to successfully evade capture,
some of them multiple times, they've been in car chases
and managed to get away from the long arm of the law,
which brings a whole new dynamic to the show..


Whoever is familiar
with the particular crime/scenario on screen,
will give a running commentary of the clip..

Breaking it down..

Step by step..

Explaining what the 'perp' did wrong in his attempts at evading capture,
and what they recommend an individual should do in such a tricky predicament.

This one clip was of an armed robbery.

They had a dude trying to kick in the door to a convenience store,
the owners had already seen him running up to the door with a strap,
an bolted inside, cowering behind the door trying to barricade
themselves in..

The experts verdict?

He explained that when one approaches a predicament of such monumental uncertainty, ones ability to foresee morbidly hazardous pitfalls becomes greatly diminished.

"Silly n****r!! Watch that bitch pull out the snub nose on silly motherfucker"

He was bang on the money though..

The moment the perp got through the door,
the female clerk pulled out a strap and let loose
a barrage of shots into the guys torso.

"BING-BING-BING!! She shot the SHIT out that silly n****r!!"

Indeed she did..

The next clip was from Manchester.

Which had the WHOLE fucking house screaming..


This particular video had some dude who stole a JCB digger..

An proceeded to try and outrun the police in it..

"THIS dope never stood a CHANCE.."

Driving through the countryside..

"THEY put a STOP to this punks heavy metal destruction DERBY.."

Eventually making his way through a cemetery..

"He DUG himself a HOLE, that LEFT HIM BURIED up to his NECK.."

"In JAIL time"


By the time they dragged the dude out of the digger,
everyone was clapping, laughing
and pointing at me..


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