Saturday 20 August 2011

Jump on it

This morning i woke up to purely unadulterated fuckries..

I was in deep sleep..

Having an excruciatingly detail-orientated dream.

Very convincing.

The central revolving theme was circulated around
me penetrating vaginas with a titanium strength
Turkish sword sheathed in spicy sujuk..

It was purely DeeP..

My cellie get's up ultra early each morning.

Being the kind man that he is,
he likes to wake me up.

'Just for jokes'

:/

Today he slammed his hand down on my bed
and screamed at the top of his lungs.

"BUMBACLUT PUSSYCLUT TURKISH BOY!!!"

I sat upright and clocked him
standing next to my bed,
smiling.

It's hard to be mad at him when he's smiling.

Even when he asks me to purchase some shit on credit,
under the premise that he will be taking care of the debt
with the bread he's just been sent..

..I purchase the shit, it's consumed, then at around one AM
when the doors are locked he turns around to me creasing,
revealing that he never had the money in the first place.

Standing there with his arms stretched out, smiling,
it's hard to be mad at him.

A cup of coffee, some jokes and nut scratches later,
the 'cute' (for prison standards) guard comes down to the tier..




I'm lying in bed.

Chillin'.

"Yo son, G up my n****r, im'a plug you in kid!"

"What?"

Before i can process what the fuck he's talking about,
he calls the chick over to the cell..

"Good morning miss,
check out Romeo over here.."

She curiously slinks over to the doorway..



i've been on a purely Governator-like workout regime recently.

This is my first chance to show it off to a 'real' woman..

Before she clocks me, i sit up.

Pull the covers down to my waist and turn onto my side.

One arm behind my head.

PURELY posing like a motherfucker..




My cellie throws a line,

"God Damn, look at this silly Clark Gable lookin' motherfucker!"

She starts to crease.

"Where the FUCK this n****r think he at, the Waldorf?!"

i'm laughin' too, but joke time is over..

Time to spit some bars..

"Good morning miss! I bet you wish you could be in bed at this time of day?"

(Patting the space next to me on the bed)

She turns bright red,
then quickly mumbes,

"Em, yep! You should listen to your cellie though! Time to get up!"

I am up.

By that i mean my penis is erect and ready to
spit Turkish venom in her face..

No time for web slinging though,
as she disapears quick fast in a cloud
of perfume and Estrogen
I look over an clock my cellie beaming from ear to ear..

"Dog, you killed it! MY N****R!"

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