I have had a very stressful day today.
Not quite sure how to shake it off...
I've had a shower, shave and a shit..
That was my old hangover technique. Doesn't work quite as well
in a prison environment when no (decent) alcohol is at your disposal..
Certainly hasn't helped today.
I just feel tired.
I'm tired of all of this. My body and brain just feel exhuasted from being
here and dealing with all this bullshit everyday. Most of my waking life is spent
rehashing my case..what could happen..Best case scenarios..and the worst case..
..In less than six months i feel like my entire life has just fallen apart.
People have always told me that they see me as being 'strong', but at this
point i feel anything but strong. Seriously.
Sitting here staring at the steam rising off my cup of coffee (mostly milk, creamer and sugar),
i feel very sad thinking about how my life could've turned out had i made a very few select different
choices in the last year..
..Pointless thinking like that, i know..But if you are ever
unlucky enough to find yourself sitting in a cold jail cell with only a cup of coffee to keep you warm,
things don't quite look so Rosey.