Sunday 23 January 2011

piss takers

There is no shame taking a shit in prison. In fact, there is no dignity in it either.
I mean for fuck sake, you're locked in a room with someone less than 2 metres away from you,
laying a cable. usually naked. There's no amount of smoke and mirrors that will make the situation better,
you've just got to laugh it off..and spray a shitload of air freshner!

 Before Sha moved in, none of my previous cellies would take a dump while i'm in the room.
Sha don't give a flying FUCK. If he needs to shit, he's going to shit.
 What the hell am i going to do about it? Ask him kindly NOT to shit?

..He also has a tendency of waiting until we get locked in to take a shit..
..I think he does it on purpose..

 The usual routine is just before we get locked in, i will see him ripping off pieces of toilet
roll and getting the air freshner ready...and i will be asked to 'play window', which means facing
the window for about 10-15 minutes, until the epic armageddon shitting is over...

 When people want to take a shit, or jerk off, they hang a towl over the window of the door.
It's like a 'do not disturb' sign..that no one pays any attention to.
 Most of the time when you are shitting, or jerking off for that matter, people will pretend to
'bust' the door down, or will violently turn the handle shouting
"I'M COMIN IN PLAYA!"

..to say it ruins the mood when you are on a 'date' with a 'paper bitch', is an understatement..

 Me an Sha have a kind of system though. If one of us needs a shit while the doors are unlocked,
you usually just say..
"err do you need anything from the room/i need a New York shit"
..But that doesn't always guarantee a drama free turd.

 Yesterday i make the effort to track Sha down, and let him know that i'm going to squeeze something bad into the toilet..he says no problemo, he's busy playing cards..cool..
 So about 5 minutes into my shitting, he opens the door...completely wide open, people walking past pointing and laughing at me sitting on the toilet looking very pissed off..he comes in and gets a bag, still with the door open, walks out, doesn't close the door, and just says
"SORRY PLAYA :D "

1 comment:

  1. My sister does that to me...our bathroom doesn't have a lock D:

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