I was depressed. Seriously. I was eating about half a meal a day, talking to no one, and all my mind was doing was dwelling on all the things i had lost, bad decisions i had made, and general bateness that was out of my control.
I was spending most of my day suitting in my cell, in the dark, feeling sorry for myself, thinking no one in the world gave a shit about me or my current situation..I needed a slap. Like in the Godfather in the beginning,
'eh was da matter wit you, get a hold o yourself SLAP'
No time for mug moves, i have a hench 'made man' from a prominent mobster family telling me he's moving in to me cell, and i'm moving out. Ok boss, no problemo!
I'm told to move opposite, with a Mr S.
S is an interesting looking character, if not a little crazy. He's big, in his mid thirties, black, with long hair that he's slicked back. He also sports a very long beard, and constantly looks heavily sedated. He has been here for a while, and helps explain the federal 'justice' system, and how these pieces of shit operate and what it all actually means.
From the moment of my arrest, i was lied to. They tried to keep me in a constant state of panic, fear and despair in an attempt to break me. They will not only lie to you about what you are facing, but get your 'attorney' to play along in their fucking weak little bum chum games.
If you can't afford an attorney, and most people can't as they cost from twenty five thousand dollars and up, you are assigned a 'public defender'. I wasn't, as it was a holiday on the day i was arrested, so i was given bozo the clown who just happened to be the only attorney in the building. You initially think they are here to fight for you. Granted, some do. Most i'm affraid do not. They are paid by the government, so will do what is in the best interest of the government, not you.
The fact pig they have assigned me is a dishonest, incompetant, piece of shit who clearly has his tongue firmly embedded up the prosectuors asshole. Instead of helping me, listening to me, actually believing what his CLIENT is telling him, he has lied to me since my arrest, and as i'm writing this, a letter will shortly be arriving on my judges desk firing his ass. fat cunt.
Anyhow! I am somewhat at ease, knowing i am not doomed and looking at a billion years in jail..I just need to find some way to help me relax and get some decent sleep..