For this Englishman, life had most certainly taken a turn for the worse.
All of my teenage years, i had dreamed of living in New York City, it had always been one of my aspirations in life, way before i took up scribbling on walls for fun..
I had made it here, and ultimately fuck it all up. And it hit me hard.
Before my arrest, i had all the material things i could ever have wanted..dope apartment, deep threads, more or less unlimited amounts of weed (which was NOT a good thing), a shitload of paint, everything.
Now i have nothing, but some brown, skiddy looking overalls and a prison number.
I was very alone. Apart from one or two freinds, i knew no one in this city. No one to visit me, to help me out or comfort me in this extremely difficult time. The fluezy i had married was of no help, and seemed to be forgetting, by the day, what marriage is all about.
Now, a bit of prison advice for you. DONT stay in your cell all the time. It is unhealthy, unproductive, and will just lead to negative thinking habits. Would've, should've, could've was all that was going around my brain, as i sat in this cell feeling like my whole world was crumbling, and my journey in life was coming to an end.
Then when i was at my lowest, the human spirit came knocking.
Cold blooded killers, Mafia hitmen, Gangsters, Big time drug dealers, were all coming to talk to me. They were coming to check on me, and make sure i was ok. They didn't know me from a hole in the wall, and we were obviously from VERY different lives..but they cared. They were coming to remind me that i am a good guy, and i will be ok. The 'worst of society' reached out to me with support, advice and understanding.
Society would have you believe that everyone incarcerated are pieces of shit..contrary to popular belief, these same individuals showed me more support and compassion than i ever would've expected. They had all kinds of advice, that always wrung true..even if i didn't understand it at the time. For example, my freind Ox gave me this very crude, but very true words of wisdom..
"Yo you're a real good dude man, you're at your lowest, if your wife ain't gonna be there for you at a time like this..
then fuck that broad!"