Tuesday, 14 December 2010

It's hot in hell, kid

When we are 'served' dinner, we are given the food in brown plastic trays. They are of cutting edge design. Because of this, they do not let anyone use the microwave or use the phones or computers until they get every tray back. They are very adamant about geting these trays back before anyone uses anything.
 Up until the last month, it has been absolutely freezing in the prison. Most nights it has been very hard to sleep, that is, if i wasn't staying the nice cozy fat factory that is my cell.
 Around mid last week, they turned the heating on. The heating ain't no joke. It's like we're in Barbados, which makes everyone very agitated and stressed..Ideal prison conditions.

 It's a Sunday. They've served the slop, it's been eaten, and they're awaiting one tray. It doesn't turn up. On top of that, everyone is in the kitchen cooking away at all their assorted crudely put together meals and feasts..
 "THAT'S IT, LOCK IT DOWN, NOW" screams Miss A. great.
So now everyone is locked into their tiers, in the boiling heat, waiting for this tray to show up. Miss A is in an extremely bad mood..and so she should be. If it was one of the other Prison Officers on duty, man's wouldn't have rushed the kitchen like that. It's getting hotter and hotter by the minute. Then someone thinks they will share some Oscar Wilde worthy information on what he thinks would help the situation..
"someone needs to fucking jerk off in that bitches face"
After about half an hour, the culprit is found..a screaming match ensures, and now the Leautenant has been called for backup. Getting better by the minute. So the acadamic that said the shakespearian wisdom is shipped off the the SHU/BOX, for an evening in solitary confinement..
 Everyone is now pissed as fuck..Sha shares a story to liven the mood..
Looking at me, he says that i'm lucky i'm not in Rikers Island. I am one of only 2 people in the entire unit, that's about a hundred and something inmates..
"If you was on Rikers son, they'd turn you into a human fan" huh?
Sha divulges a tale of being on Rikers in a holding pen, of around 200 inmates. With an white inmate. The other inmates told him to turn into a human fan, he didn't understand, so they punched him in the face braking his nose. This explanation was good enough, and he took off his shirt and started spinning it around like a helicopter blade. Sha said that he fell asleep, woke up two hours later, an the guy was still fanning..every time he stopped, he got a kidney punch or kick to the groin"
Nice. That's a nice story.
 Sha is full of amazing nuggets of wisdom.
Once while talking to me about my life in New York before i met my ex wife..
"dude, you went from Bell Air to Skid Row"
Word to mother.

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