Monday, 27 December 2010

i'm gonna splash this piece of shit

Another day, another deeply meaningful conversation
"look son, just look"
"look man, they say they're real light in complexion..i know shes one of these motherfuckers"
 Sha is looking at a picture of Nicole Kidman, and is convinced that she is one of those shape shifting lizards like the royal family/David Ike is always talking about..
"motherfuckers is aliens dude!"
He goes on to tell me some amusing prison stories..
 Apparently there was a guy in California who recently got life for stealing a slice of pizza. They have the 'three strikes and you're out' rule up there, as in if you commit 3 felonies, you get life in prison. Nice. Anyhow,
this dude walks into a pizza joint, orders his slice, they give it to him and he starts putting on salt and pepper..
 Then "he took the slice and hauled ass out that motherfucker"
"got out the door then cops gave that n****r the elbow"
 And so he, for a slice of pizza, is now doing a life bid. For a pepperoni.
"What the fuck is wrong with these crackers man, n****r woulda taken the whole pizza, they gonna give the n****r the chair?
"that n****r didn't have no extra cheese or nuthin, shit"

 Sha then goes on to tell me about one of his own endevours..
When Sha was in the SHU, he was working as an orderly. Meaning he would be giving people clean clothes, mopping up, doing general handyman shit around the rooms. He was having a conversation with an inmate in his cell, and someone interupted him. Bad move son.
 "yo this don't involve you, punk"
The guy replies with more smart mouth shit..another bad move.
 Sha says that everytime he is mopping near the guys cell, he spits on his window. Not only that, he lets the guy know that if he has a problem, sign up for recreation and they can settle it. The dude pussies out, but continues talking shit to Sha. The dude gets more spit on his windows, and the occasional running kick to the door.
 One of the guards let's Sha know that he is a pedophile. He is in here for messing with little kids..
 In the SHU you are taken to shower every other day. You are locked in there (on your own thank FUCK) and have to wait til the orderly comes to give you fresh clothes..Sha says that he was going to get him before he went in, but
"I couldn't get him good, cos, the gate and the door was in the way"
 But he had to be let out.
"i said to myself, im'a get him good"
 Sha puts on some gloves. Big gloves, that come up to your elbows. He pretended to clean while the dude is in the shower, all the while he was some water in the microwave..for 20 minutes. This water is so hot it kjeeps evaporating, and has to be refilled many hot that the cup is actually melting.
 The timing was pefect.
He took the water out, and walked up the stairs..
 One of the guards saw him first though
"yo Manson, what the fuck you doing with that?"
"making some coffee.."
"isn't that too hot? that shit is bubbling!?"
"I like it this hot"
It dawns on the guard that Sha was about to "splash that n****r"
Manson is told to go down the stairs..
"If she wasn't there i'da splashed you, baby raping bitch motherfucker"
Word. He still has the cup, it is completely melted.

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